About the Vowel

“It’s like a flaming bag of poop on the doorstep of the marketing world.”

Nick Heim – Writer, friend, poop connoisseur

My name is Charlotte. I take writing very seriously; other things, not so much. Things like “tact,” “restraint,” and “social/professional propriety.” I MEAN well, but where most people think thoughts, I just sort of go ahead and blurt thoughts. Some people find this adorable and even kind of funny. I think most wish I would just go sit somewhere quietly for a while.

Oh, don’t act like you don’t do this.

The problem with sitting quietly is that the people around you keep on being wrong.

Despite the fact that the internet is comprised of lots and lots and lots of words, a relatively small percentage of its users actually appreciate the value of written language. Among the worst offenders are the marketers, bloggers, and social media “experts” who are theoretically being paid to communicate concisely, thoughtfully, and well. This often comes at the expense of traditional advertising and marketing writers, whose objections go unheard in this widening circle-jerk of incoherent self-congratulation.

I have really had just about enough of that shit.

“The Irritable Vowel” is not just a blog about writing. It’s about having the balls to write. It’s about the love of a craft that is too often abused by the likes of the careless and lazy. It’s about style, technique, and damn it, accountability.

I also hope it will make you laugh — at yourself as much as at others. Self-deprecation is a rare and worthy quality, and I freely admit that I am the biggest douche of them all. To those who can appreciate the hilarious absurdity of failure: I commend you. I hope we can both learn something.

To the rest — to the egotistical, entitled sycophants, with your webinars, your infographics, your apathy and illiteracy:

I have your number. And I am coming for you.