Latest: Blog
Obama! my bama!
OBAMA! my Bama! swiftly lay your plans; T’was ne’er a foe so cunning as the sly Republicans; Your health care’s passed, and now at last we plunge into the fray, All fists a-swing as Fox News sings, “He wasn’t born here anyway”; But O POTUS! POTUS! POTUS! You must avert your eyes; For cable news […]
Latest: Copywriting
(I’m the One That’s) Cool
It’s not a big secret that I have a huge lady crush on Felicia Day. I mean, I have a huge lady crush on a lot of ladies — Anne Hathaway, Tina Fey, Christina Hendricks, Morena Baccarin, Jenna Mourey, Michelle Obama, Queen Rania of Jordan, and my friend Sarah are all on the “The only […]
Recent: Blog
Revenge of the Turds
This is the story of how I pooped in my own eye. Once, several years ago, I was sitting on the … [Read More...]
The New Colossus: ABSOLUTELY NSFW Edition
A friend of mine sent me a nice text the other afternoon. I should say up front that this is not one … [Read More...]
Chew Toy bites.
My boss has taken to calling me "Chewy." This is a shortened version of "Charleston Chew," which he … [Read More...]
Recent: Copywriting
Hyperbole isn’t just my stripper name.
A week or two ago, I found – I can’t recall how now – an article asking whether Amnesty … [Read More...]
In which I commit professional suicide.
To every employer who has hired me, fired me, or may hire me (and fire me) in the future, This is … [Read More...]
Vowel Movement: Sometimes the diamond in your mind is a floater in your toilet.
This tirade is brought to you by the fine people at Blue Nile, purveyors of exquisite jewelry and … [Read More...]
